THOUGHTS
04/08
Appreciating and Valuing Beauty and Brilliance
Ap-pre’ci-ate, v., 1. valuing the act of recognizing the best in people or the world around us, affirming past and present strengths, successes, and potentials, to perceive those things that give life (health, vitality, excellence) to living systems 2. to increase in value, e.g., the economy has appreciated in value. Synonyms: VALUING, PRIZING, ESTEEMING, AND HONORING
Inquire’(kwir), v., 1. the act of exploration and discovery. 2. To ask questions; to be open to seeing the new potentials, and possibilities. Synonyms: DISCOVERY, SEARCH AND SYSTEMATIC EXPLORATION, STUDY.
-From A Positive Revolution in Change: Appreciative Inquiry, Cooperrider & Whitney.
A client related an experience of being at a spiritual retreat, watching the night sky, seeing the stars and noticing how immensely beautiful they were against the pitch black sky. She described the sensation created by the experience as a sense of fullness and awe that brought her great peace. She slept deeply that night and woke with the same feeling of gratitude and groundedness. Another night she was watching the sky and then thought to herself how wonderful it would be if she could see a shooting star. Then she caught herself and said, “No, it’s perfect just the way it is. Thank you for this magnificence.” At that moment a star shot across the sky, in a flash of brilliance.
I took three lessons from her story:
1) So often the simple act of noticing and appreciating beauty can bring peace that we often feel is lacking in our daily life.
2) In these moments it feels like the universe is conspiring with our highest intentions to help us create the best of what is possible. “Magic” happens.
3) So often when we’re able to let go of what we’re desiring, it comes to us.
With Appreciative Coaching (see appreciativecoaching.com), inquiry taps into our experiences. Appreciative coaching reveals our positive core and reminds us that there is much that is “right and true” about oneself that can guide future possibilities. I am continually amazed and inspired by the creativity and growth that my clients exhibit in moving towards envisioning and achieving their goals.
Questions to reflect upon:
-What are past experiences of beauty that helped you appreciate your life?
-What was your new or renewed perspective?
-What did you come to value about yourself as a result of your experience?
-How might these things you value help you face challenges you’re currently facing?
03/08
Congruence
I am learning and re-experiencing through the stories of my colleagues, friends, and children how being congruent, or in alignment can be transformative. I first heard about congruence in connection with the type of confidence and personal power that leaders display. As I work with coaching clients, I understand more clearly how congruence, or the embodiment of mind, body and spirit in the moment seems to emit a type of clarity, coupled with determination and simplicity. Recently a colleague told me of how she was on the platform to board the BART (transit) train, in the middle of the day with about 30 persons in the vicinity. Someone bumped into her. She looked through her purse and realized her wallet was gone. She began chasing him, which by this time, allowed the person to get a good lead. She spoke aloud, “He’s stolen my wallet and there he goes.” She ran as fast as she could, down the stairs. Strangely enough, the man stopped, which gave her a chance to catch up to him. By the time she reached him, he had the wallet visible in his hands. “What the >>>>?” she said, as he stretched out his hand to return the wallet. He responded, saying she had dropped it and he was returning it to the station agent. Calmly and resolutely, my friend walked back to the platform and boarded the train. There was silence; none of the other bystanders said a word.
My friend was not afraid, nor had she desired for the wallet snatcher to be punished. In her congruence, she confronted him, put out energy communicating that, of course, he knew better and she expected better of him. She reported feeling peaceful and powerful.
Questions to reflect upon:
-How do you experience congruence—when your mind, body and spirit are aligned?
-Can you think of a time when you had expected there to be some questioning or refuting or your ideas or action and there was none? What did that feel, look, hear, smell, or taste like?
-How do we access that congruence,incorporate it into our daily lives and move forward to more effectively accomplish our vision and callings in life?
01/08
The Stories in our Life
Have you ever watched a movie or TV program, or read a book where you knew the story and didn’t like the ending? Or watched/read something and quit watching because you felt like it’s the same old story?
What storylines are we living? Do we keep repeating the same story and action lines, hoping that the outcomes will change? As we start the new year, what story might set a course for you in the journey you want to live?
A wise coach shared with me her practice of choosing an annual theme—a concept that might link together one’s dreams and focus for the year. Just as in identifying a storyline, a theme can give direction and intension. Choosing an annual theme has a timeline, while also providing a built-in rhythm or schedule to review one’s outcomes. I’ve found that selecting a theme has been very fruitful and meaningful, especially in comparison with a New Year’s resolutions, which often seem to go unfulfilled.
Questions to reflect upon:
What is your overall quest this year?
What is a theme that might link together your dreams and desired focus?
What guiding concept gives you more meaning, simplifies your life, helps you feel more whole, or calls you closer to your vision?
12/07
Do not Worry
Much of what my clients are searching for is congruency: when the physical, mental and spiritual are aligned. Although alignment can be dynamic, if one thinks about something else or physically moves, that state of congruency can be elusive. One of the ways we can maintain alignment is by being in the present moment, not letting any other thoughts or distractions cloud our connection with what is unfolding before us, right in this very moment.
This past Thanksgiving I was visiting my family on the farm. It was a wonderful spirit of everyone--adults and kids helping with the meals, house and outside work. As we were laying concrete to the walkway towards the outside laundry/Japanese bathhouse, I felt very present. In reflection upon this, I realized that the work, the land and the company—the community of my extended family, were collectively grounding all of us. Of course, my family cannot be on the farm, especially on holidays, without also feeling the presence of my grandparents, relatives and all of our ancestors. It was the same feeling as when we’re out in the fields and receiving the energy from the earth, feeling nurtured and spent, all at the same time.
In returning to my home and work, I have begun meditating on the principles of reiki, healing through touch. The first one, “For today, do not worry.” I’m realizing that this is a great way to “be present.” For my daily practice, I am focusing on this principal, engaging in energy (ki) exercises to ground myself.
What grounds you? How do you know you are centered and balanced? What does it feel like, taste like, look like, sound like?
11/07
Your Transitions/Transformations
The crane in my logo depicts the Japanese children's story about a man, who, instead of spending money for blankets, gives it to some young men in return for releasing a crane from their trap. The crane returns to the man's house, as a young orphaned girl, asking to spend the night. The couple adopts the girl. Eventually the girl offers to weave cloth throughout the night, for the poor couple, requesting that they not disturb her. The cloth is beautiful and is sold. The young woman continues to weave cloth until the couple becomes very comfortable. Curiosity gets the best of the man, who opens the door while the girl is weaving. What he sees is not a girl, but a crane, who is using her feathers to weave cloth. "I am the crane you set free. Now I must return to the sky."
You may know that I've been coaching for the past seven years, finding fulfillment in accompanying clients in envisioning and achieving their goals. Life is a journey and through coaching, the client's unique stories spring forth. Aspects of service, reciprocity, receiving comfort, love, healing and livelihood, transformation and moving on are all embodied in the crane story. The story contains many aspects of transformation and transition that my clients resonate with. Coaching can help persons move through the transformation and transition portions of their life stories. How do you relate to the crane story? What are transitions that you are going through in your life? What transformations do you wish to experience? What transformations have you experienced? How are they giving you deeper meaning in your life?
